Monday, August 28, 2006


Grandpa died tonight at 11:40pm in hospital after suffering a massive stroke Wednesday evening during dinner. He was 80 years old. Meanwhile grandma remains in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer and refusing to eat.

This is the first death in the family for me. I’m not really sure how I feel about the whole thing. I wasn’t really close to my grandpa in recent years, as our religious beliefs are so polarized. Perhaps our distance has also numbed my sensations over this matter.

As my dad and aunt scrambles around dealing with their father’s affairs, it will prove to be a learning experience for all, for it appears to be no power of attorney appointed to look after everything, including grandma in the nursing home with massive monthly bills. Perhaps the living will, will shed some light on the matter.

As fellow church goers and family arrive, it will be a massive family circus.

Mom said he was very kind that he passed away before school started up again. I suppose she is right. Sounds kind of strange though. That's my mom!

May he rest in peace with his maker.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Quantity or Quality of life?

I say quality above all other things. Why the question? My grandfather had a stroke tonight. They don’t think he will make it. Doctors think he is in a coma now. Knowing my father and his sister, they will keep grandpa alive on a ventilator until who knows when. Extending life to as long as possible, because long life is a good thing supposedly. Being religious folk as they are, they will pray for a miracle I’m sure.

My grandma who has been in a nursing home for about a year now, diagnosed with Alzheimer disease has slowly lost all her memories over the past 4-5 years. Grandpa has been looking after her all this time.

It’s a sick twist of fate that grandpa who has taken care of his wife for so long, will likely pass away sooner than his wife. Grandma, of course doesn’t know who anybody is, and has no understanding of life around her now.

We had a family friend who had a stroke and this lady was in a coma for over 8 years before her body gave out. In my mind, if upper brain functions aren’t there anymore, there really isn’t a point in continuing. People are defined by who they are by personality, humour, ideas, etc, and if those distinctly human traits gone, there really is nothing left but a shell. By all means, if lower brain functions are still going. Good for you. But if that’s all that’s left, what is the point? Really?

I would much prefer to live a short full life, than a long meaningless existence on a hospital bed for the remainder of my natural life. If a stroke comes, please hit in the lower brain stem. At least it’s done and over with. The only suffering that happens is suffering for the living. Those with no upper brain activity don’t know they are lying around for years on end, while the family is suffering at the bedside. No thanks.

Steam of consciousness writing, not even sure if it makes sense….

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Magazine Subscription

It has become quite obvious how much money magazine companies make off newsstand copies.

I got a notice in the mail to re-subscribe to a computer magazine I get every month. I had this subscription for about 5 years now, and the same procedure takes place every time. I get a notice, I mail it back with a cheque or I call to renew. I had to call last year because they charged me more than I usually get the magazine for, and I told them the previous price I paid. They gave it to me, just like that!

This time, I was smart, I told them a different price than what was on my renew form. And they gave me the price I told them. Amazing! I guess that’s the length they’ll go to, to get someone to pay for the magazine. Despite the fact that the magazine has significantly shrunk over the past few years, it’s a much better deal now than it is to buy it off the newsstand. I’m getting 48 issues for the price of 4 newsstand ones! How sweet is that!?!