Sunday, April 09, 2006

Parental Relationships

My mother wonders why I don’t have a good relationship with her.

She was sitting looking through magazines looking for ideas to redo her walk-in closet. I gave her some suggestions at places to look and we explored some websites. She saw a feature something she didn’t like, and made a point of saying, she doesn’t like the closet system because of it. Of course, it is a modular system, so if you don’t like it, you don’t buy it. I told her this once. Then we saw something else she didn’t like and she continued to say it makes her doubt the entire system. She continued on with various other features that she didn’t like, and I was increasingly getting frustrated with her comments. She gave me a hit on my shoulder (she says out of jest). I really dislike people hitting me, and explicitly told her not to hit me, and she gave me another hit (out of jest again, according to her). I told her to stop again, and she continued once again to hit me. I hit her back in retaliation. She went on this ranging rant (making up reasons for why I hit her back) about me being abused as a child to me abusing children in my class to my choice of friends.

She wonders why we don’t have a good relationship? She doesn’t listen. Like any good relationship, it is all based on effective communication. It is also a two way street, if she isn’t willing to hear what I have to say, why should I bother trying in the first place.

Mother later came in to say: “We are a simple family… husband, wife and children”. Referring to her inability to say she doesn’t like me being gay.